{"id":301,"date":"2021-04-22T13:13:34","date_gmt":"2021-04-22T13:13:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/?page_id=301"},"modified":"2021-05-10T16:15:13","modified_gmt":"2021-05-10T16:15:13","slug":"charmaine","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/charmaine\/","title":{"rendered":"Charmaine"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Charmaine Tan, 22, from Singapore, lived in China from the age of 12 to 16, &nbsp;first-year law and French law student at King\u2019s College London, studied film in the US for two years.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-drop-cap wp-block-paragraph\">For me, 20s is accepting not everyone&#8217;s perfect and you&#8217;re also not perfect. It is also a time where you should really go out, do whatever you want, to experiment and just have a blast, because you&#8217;re only young once. I really like exploring and living in other places. It&#8217;s about communicating with other people, a wide range of people, not everyone comes from the same background as you do, not everyone is from where you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It&#8217;s also about being more adaptable to situations. I don&#8217;t have that mentality where I just compare it to like back home, or think my home is the ideal place, because I just understand that it&#8217;s a different place and you can\u2019t compare. So I think it&#8217;s just being more like open minded in a way, being able to see things that that you wouldn&#8217;t otherwise see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Since I moved around, I had gaps in my education, there were a lot of times where I had to take up part time jobs. I started working when I was 16. So you meet a lot of people who are older than your age. You also meet a lot of people as you move around. You have friends from that school, from another country, and from all over the world, I feel like that really helps to develop the way you think, and that just makes you more grown up in a in a way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/player.slices.co\/stories\/-MYsbQ8l9tZp47aIMtDQ\" frameborder=\"0\" width=\"100%\" height=\"600\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Time in the US<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I don&#8217;t think one should ever stop setting goals, so you can have something to work towards. Maybe do a bucket list, if you have one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In Singapore, there&#8217;s a stigma that if you study film, you&#8217;re probably someone who is dumb. For me, I just need to stop caring what other people think, just do it. Even if my own parents are against it, then I just have to prove them wrong. I just have to work towards it and make it happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was doing film in the US, I always knew that it&#8217;s kind of the job that Asian parents would never really support. Also in Singapore in general the media scene isn&#8217;t that good. So I was having that whole crisis thing of what should I do? I didn&#8217;t know if I want to stay in film, because I liked it but didn\u2019t know if I want to continue pursuing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I dropped out of uni before I even applied for the UK one so I really didn&#8217;t know if I was going to get in. In my first year in the United States, I was kind of lost because I didn&#8217;t know if I wanted to do this. Is it important to get a job that you liked? What is important? I didn&#8217;t know if I would succeed. So I told myself that okay, do it and then we&#8217;ll see how it goes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So I did a year, eventually it got to a point where it was just becoming more and more real, as time passed, you just started doing job search, finding internships, and you realise that I&#8217;m not going to get a job, I don&#8217;t know if I can get a job, maybe it&#8217;s time to change my degree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Long-distance friendships<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I was in the United States, I only really had one friend until later on, it took a while. I had friends but they weren&#8217;t close friends, because the Americans are just nice to everyone, but that doesn&#8217;t mean they&#8217;re your friend. In Singapore, we don&#8217;t talk to strangers. It&#8217;s not the same in America, you talk to the people you don&#8217;t know and that\u2019s completely normal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have met some really, really great people who just make me feel so good about myself when I was in the US, there was a lot of self discovery, no judgement. I think it was the kind of people I was hanging out with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In Singapore it&#8217;s more like conformity, like study the normal stuff and do whatever is conventional. In the US it is very individualistic, really expressive, and not afraid to explore, I really felt like I was able to do anything, and my friends were so supportive, like no matter what I did. This is a great feeling just having great friends, I would also feel like that if they were here, but the thing is, they&#8217;re not here. It&#8217;s hard to feel that way when you don&#8217;t see this person often.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes it can be lonely, especially if there&#8217;s something good or something extremely bad that happened to you and you just want to talk to one of the best friends but then they&#8217;re not here. Sometimes it does feel lonely, but at the same time, when you see them, it&#8217;s an amazing feeling to spend days together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My closest friends are not all in the same country, and I&#8217;m so used to not seeing my friends for years on end. Sometimes people might think I\u2019m a bit detached, but for me, it&#8217;s just because I&#8217;m just not used to seeing my friends so often.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-gallery columns-3 is-cropped wp-block-gallery-1 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\"><ul class=\"blocks-gallery-grid\"><li class=\"blocks-gallery-item\"><figure><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169668643_466035447977046_7160756178619999855_n-1024x1024.jpeg\" alt=\"\" data-id=\"306\" data-full-url=\"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169668643_466035447977046_7160756178619999855_n.jpeg\" data-link=\"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/?attachment_id=306\" class=\"wp-image-306\" srcset=\"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169668643_466035447977046_7160756178619999855_n-1024x1024.jpeg 1024w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169668643_466035447977046_7160756178619999855_n-300x300.jpeg 300w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169668643_466035447977046_7160756178619999855_n-150x150.jpeg 150w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169668643_466035447977046_7160756178619999855_n-768x768.jpeg 768w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169668643_466035447977046_7160756178619999855_n-1536x1536.jpeg 1536w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169668643_466035447977046_7160756178619999855_n-1100x1100.jpeg 1100w, 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data-link=\"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/?attachment_id=309\" class=\"wp-image-309\" srcset=\"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169981852_279063703886051_5595223364919601441_n-1024x1024.jpeg 1024w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169981852_279063703886051_5595223364919601441_n-300x300.jpeg 300w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169981852_279063703886051_5595223364919601441_n-150x150.jpeg 150w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169981852_279063703886051_5595223364919601441_n-768x768.jpeg 768w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169981852_279063703886051_5595223364919601441_n-1100x1100.jpeg 1100w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/169981852_279063703886051_5595223364919601441_n.jpeg 1440w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/li><li class=\"blocks-gallery-item\"><figure><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" src=\"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/170245255_1169801286775330_5794281069125550895_n-1024x768.jpeg\" alt=\"\" data-id=\"308\" data-full-url=\"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/170245255_1169801286775330_5794281069125550895_n.jpeg\" data-link=\"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/?attachment_id=308\" class=\"wp-image-308\" srcset=\"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/170245255_1169801286775330_5794281069125550895_n-1024x768.jpeg 1024w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/170245255_1169801286775330_5794281069125550895_n-300x225.jpeg 300w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/170245255_1169801286775330_5794281069125550895_n-768x576.jpeg 768w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/170245255_1169801286775330_5794281069125550895_n-1536x1152.jpeg 1536w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/170245255_1169801286775330_5794281069125550895_n-1100x825.jpeg 1100w, http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/170245255_1169801286775330_5794281069125550895_n.jpeg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/li><\/ul><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">It will always be here<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have that constant terror about not being able to find a job. I&#8217;m only in first year, I shouldn&#8217;t be worrying about this now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ideally, I want to stay somewhere that isn\u2019t Singapore. I want to try overseas, because I think it&#8217;s interesting working in a different culture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I know I don&#8217;t want to be here and the only reason I say that is because I know that Singapore will always be here. I&#8217;m never going to give up my citizenship, so I know this place will always be somewhere I can come back to. Whereas for others, the only reason I can go there is because I have an opportunity and I have to take it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Fitting in?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The difficult time for me was after I moved back from China and came back to Singapore. It took a while for me to fit in, because I think from when you&#8217;re 12 to 16, that&#8217;s kind of when you go out the most with your friends and have fun. I didn&#8217;t do that in Singapore. It took time for me to fit in, because I spoke with an accent, they would be like, &#8216;oh, are you from Singapore?&#8217; I felt like I&#8217;ve stayed here for most of my life but at the same time you feel this disconnect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Covid days<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">January 2020, I dropped out of uni so I had nine months between then and the start of my UK uni. During that nine months, my plan was to go to France and I didn&#8217;t know anyone in France. I was there for a month, but then Covid happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If I had school or something, at least I would be occupied. When Covid happened, I came back from the US and quarantined for 14 days, I didn&#8217;t have anything. I was supposed to do an internship and study in France, but obviously that got cancelled. When I came back to Singapore, I had left school, I didn&#8217;t have anything. I didn&#8217;t know how long I was going to be in Singapore. So I couldn\u2019t find jobs, and the world was shutting down then.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For me that first three months was literally just doing nothing. Not sure what I want to do. &nbsp;At that point, I was feeling really lonely. I just came from uni, all my friends were in the US, but I was really lonely. I didn&#8217;t know if this was the right choice, and I was questioning if law was the right thing to do, but at the same time, I knew that I can&#8217;t really change my degree, I have to power through it, because I&#8217;m going to be 25 by the time I graduate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I&#8217;m really struggling to catch up, I&#8217;m already behind and this is online studies. I&#8217;m barely involved in class, I don&#8217;t have a social life. So I&#8217;m pretty scared and terrified about next year.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Charmaine Tan, 22, from Singapore, lived in China from the age of 12 to 16, &nbsp;first-year law and French law student at King\u2019s College London, studied film in the US for two years. For me,&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":302,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-301","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/301\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":393,"href":"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/301\/revisions\/393"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/302"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/centreforjournalismprojects.co.uk\/ourtwenties\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}