World Mental Health Day from the view of an anxious man

My breath is caught in my throat. I’m taking huge gasping breaths, but it doesn’t feel like any of the oxygen is reaching my lungs. All I want to do is go to sleep, looking at my clock continuing to panic about it being past the time I had wanted to be asleep. I’m having a panic attack. A mild one sure, but a panic attack all the same. Something that had at one time in my life been the norm but was now an anomaly. That was two nights ago, but it was significantly easier to deal with than it used to be.

When I was 17 I was told I have severe anxiety and moderate to severe depression. The depression was linked to my schooling and unsurprisingly got significantly better after I left to pursue other forms of education. Anxiety was always a part of my life, I just never realised it wasn’t normal. Panic attacks, being sick and breakdowns were a part of my daily routine from the age of 12. It took a few years before myself and my parents understood it enough for me to begin to learn appropriate coping mechanisms and understand my anxiety.

Learning about something often makes it less scary, especially when you know it’s just another illness you can take medication for. Although the stigma around mental health six years ago was still fairly prevalent and had convinced many people I knew, that medication was admitting defeat and it was all in my head. This phrase has often confused and frustrated me. Yes, it is all in my head. It’s in my brain. My brain is a series of thousands of neurons firing every second. It’s so complicated very few people fully understand it. There is a reason it is the only organ you can’t transplant. I take medication to make sure my brain works as intended. It’s the same as someone taking medication for any other medical condition to ensure their organs continue to function properly.

I’ve grown to understand my anxiety and accept it as just a fact of life. The people in my life are understanding if I say I’m ill because my anxiety is acting up, they understand. Mental health is a common problem and it is only getting worse. This mental health day there are plenty of campaigns that deserve your attention.

Campaigns this World Mental Health day

#asktwice is a campaign in an effort to reduce the stigma around men opening up about their mental health. As a born and bred southerner, I will always say I am fine as soon as asked. It’s the same if I’m offered tea. I will always say no at least once until someone says, “are you sure?”.  When you talk to a friend and ask how they are #asktwice 1 in 4 people are experiencing mental health issues so you never know if fine really means fine.

Mentalhealth.org are also presenting the WAIT suicide prevention advice campaign. Suicide is something that is hard to talk about and even harder to write about. There is little I can say to express the pain someone must feel to take their own life, the WAIT campaign is something desperately needed in today’s world.

People who can help

• NHS 111
• Nightline – lists information for helplines and listening services in unis and colleges all over the UK
• CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-12am) – listening services, information and support for men at risk of suicide.
• Helplines Partnership – A list of helplines available in the UK that you can use to find what you need
• Samaritans – 116 123 a national 24/7 helpline for anyone who needs it.