Halloween is fast approaching and if you’re anything like me that terrifies you. People dressing up in costumes of beloved childhood franchises being hideously maimed (or worse SEXUALISED). But the most dreaded thing for me is the inevitable invite to a horror movie night. I am the biggest wuss going and I hope I am not alone in that. So to combat this I’ve created a list of films you can try and convince your friends to watch on Halloween that just borderline fit the theme but without causing you to cry every time the door shuts suddenly.
Number 10 – Monster House
A solid children’s horror with an interesting premise which delivers scares without actually being too scary to deal with as an adult. Not without the odd jump scare here and there but at least there’s no blood and a few decent jokes (and many bad ones) scattered throughout. A solid story and engaging characters with a spooky animation style without the nightmare-inducing effects of a film created by Tim Burton.
Number 9 – Shaun of the Dead
A film that does the zombie movie industry proud. The comedy offsets some of the creepier elements and has a (sort of?) happy ending. A good cast and a well-written script also go a long way in helping to make this an easy watch. A lot of blood and gore in places, but it is a zombie movie. The film manages to combine horror and comedy in a way that means you can still sleep at night after watching it.
Number 8 – Silence of the Lambs
Less of a horror and more of a thriller but it’s still a good watch. It has all the effects of good horror, gets your heart rate up, pulls you in and keeps you on edge the whole time. A film surrounding a police officer on the hunt for a serial killer with the aid of a very well acted cannibal? SIGN ME UP
Number 7 – Sharknado
I did say number 7 would surprise you. Sharknado is one of my favourite films purely because it makes absolutely no sense. A disaster of a disaster film which is great for anyone who has a fear of sharks or poor weather conditions. The first film actually somewhat tries to be serious in places before it goes full farce in the following 5 sequels. A good watch if you want something where people die but you’d rather have a laugh and a few drinks than actually scare yourself.
Number 6 – 2lava2lantula
In a similar vein to Sharknado, the sequel to lavalantula makes almost no sense but still gets to fit in some classic horror clichés. Not scary in the least with mostly bad acting and even worse special effects – definitely a perfect film to someone who doesn’t take Halloween very seriously. Also, a girl’s head explodes so that’s a thing.
Number 5 – Pirates of the Carribean
Spooky scary skeletons sum up Halloween pretty well and now they come with extra pirates! Pirates of the Carribean is a great flick to watch any time of the year but if you really want to lean into the spooky pirate mythos elements it’s a good film to watch during Halloween that won’t scare you half to death. Also, pirates are always a bonus. You best start believing in ghost stories reader, you’re going to be watching one.
Number 4 – Wallace and Gromit Curse of the Were-Rabbit
A surprisingly solid film which parodies the horror industry to perfection. Funny, quirky and inspired by the spookiest of films it’s a great watch and also not scary while still fitting the theme of Halloween. Wallace and Gromit never fail to deliver good old fashion wholesome family comedy but now with a horror coat of paint.
Number 3 – Any Romcom
At the end of the day, what’s scarier than commitment? As an engaged man, I can tell you the idea of planning a wedding is absolutely terrifying. It might not be what you ‘normal’ people consider scary and there might not be any blood or gore or monsters but it’s the fear of any man in a relationship. The fear of watching a romantic film with your significant other and her beginning to get ideas in her head about taking it further. (Dear future wife if you are reading this please don’t be mad this isn’t aimed at you).
Number 2 – Troll 2
The only scary thing about this film is the acting. It’s the worst film I’ve ever seen and I loved it. Get some friends round, grab some popcorn and laugh at this film trying to be scary. Definitely the funniest film I’ve seen that isn’t a comedy.
Number 1 – Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island
The film that should be every child’s first horror film. It does an amazing job building tension and giving the gang a nice change of pace from people in costumes. I remember being terrified as a child but couldn’t look away. Obviously being sensitive and hating horror it’s a fairly low bar to set but honestly, I’d say it’s probably the scariest film on this list despite being animated. The animation of the zombies is surprisingly well done. It definitely won’t scare anyone in the present day but it should be part of Halloween if you love the mystery machine gang.
So there you have it a comprehensive list of the best non-scary films that sort of fit the Halloween spirit. This list is of course opinion but is 100% correct and I will not accept any other films in any other order than this. Happy Halloween don’t get too spooked.
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