These are the places that we go too to unwind, have fun with friends and simply enjoy being in a social space with good music and good company. As somebody who identifies as a man that is the experience I am used to.

Sadly however, this is not the experience we all share. There is a group of people out there, who, try as they might, simply cannot bank on having a positive experience.

In fact, the problem has grown to such an extent that this group of people literally expect to have to deal with harassment and abuse while showing superhuman resilience in making sure they have a good time anyway.

No this isn’t an ethnic minority or a type of religious group that I am talking about here. In fact, this group stand as the majority, if you haven’t guessed already, I am talking about women.

Women are having to deal with some level of harassment every time they frequent one of these establishments. This is not an exaggeration either, it would be more apposite to say that women will have to deal with multiple instances of harassment, each and every time they go out.

According to the 2021 UN Women UK YouGov survey corroborates the notion that sexual harassment is experienced or reported most often by younger women, with more than 80% of women aged 18-34 having experienced some form of sexual harassment in a public space. Full-time students are also disproportionately affected, with 93% being survivors of some form of sexual harassment.

Evangeline, 19, student said, “recently I was at chemistry and me and my friends were dancing. (3 boys, 2 girls). One of my girl friends was being grinded on by these guys, so I was shoving them to get them away, and because it was so loud, I just ended up screaming at them with any excuse I could think of to stop them, like, ‘she’s gay’ or ‘she has a boyfriend’. But according to my other friends the boys in questions were encouraged by me saying, ‘she’s dating me stop it??’ and then they started on me next. Like they were encouraged by our discomfort.

Sumeyye, 21, student recalls an occasion where she was out with her friends and one of her friends’ drinks was spiked. As Sumeyye was the designated driver it was her reasonability to take her friend to A&E. What stuck out to her is how different her friend was acting, and not having been in this situation before they did not know what was happening or what to do.

Another woman who is helping organise ‘Girl’s night in Maidstone’, which is a boycotting of all nightclubs and bars in Maidstone on Friday the 29th of October, didn’t want to be named or felt comfortable sharing her experiences. However, she did want me to say that some of her reasoning for this, was that she didn’t want to give away some of the secret ways girls use to fend off men, rendering them redundant for future use.

As somebody who wants to be an ally to women in this instance, I find it very hard to swallow this information. Which is why I wanted to shine a light on the frequency of it all. It’s hard as someone who doesn’t do these things to understand how much women must go through and how often. Numbers can be thrown around but it’s not until you speak to women about their experiences that you realise how prevalent this behaviour is and how much more as men, we must do to stop it.

Joseph Perez, 20, Student said, I think its up to us as men to take notice when other men do such horrible things. We need to be there as fellow men to say this is unacceptable. This behaviour won’t stop unless we all take responsibility for change.

I echo Josephs point, like all injustices. The loudest voices the most important voices aren’t from the victims. It is from those who otherwise could be the aggressors. This example is seen throughout history. Yes, figures such as Martin Luther King helped change the way race is viewed in America for example. However, preaching to the converted will not make change. It’s having those who have commonalities with the wrong side being brave enough to say enough is enough.

For if these men don’t have enough respect for women to not feel the need to push boundaries and downright abuse them when they feel like the opportunity arises. Then they are very unlikely going to listen to them when they tell them to stop. It really is up to us men to take accountability for the men around us. Be and voice the change want to see for a better future for women and us all.